As most people reading this will already know, I am expecting an addition to our family in August. We had the same difficulties conceiving this time around that we did the first time. Once we had gotten pregnant with Lily everyone kept telling us how much easier it would be to get pregnant the second time because my body would be better prepared for what it needed to do. So, by the time Lily was one year old and we still hadn’t conceived I began worrying again that there must be something wrong with me, that it was a fluke we got pregnant the first time and I would eventually have to figure out how to explain to my wonderful daughter why she was an only child. So, when I took the test and it was positive I was extremely excited!
Lily is not entirely aware of what is going on. But, we are trying to keep her a part of all of it as much as possible. We try to get her to listen to the baby’s heartbeat once in a while, but she’s not overly interested. I take her with me for all my check-ups, I tell her when we are leaving that we have to go to the doctor so that the doctor can check on the baby, she always expects that we will be bringing a baby home from these appointments. When we do these things she always seems quite excited for the new addition. When I explain to her that I am putting some toys and clothes in the basement for when the new baby comes, that those things will then be the new baby’s things, she is not so happy about the whole thing. She is also rather jealous of anyone with her Momma. There was one day that I was petting the dog and Lily pushed the dog away and told her, “No, that’s MY Momma!” I gently explained to her that I am also the dog’s Momma and that when the new baby arrives I will also be the new baby’s Momma. Her response? “NO!” Not entirely surprising from a two year old, but a little sad for the expecting Momma.
We have been very disappointed to find that she is not allowed to go to the ultrasound appointments. That would be an amazing way to get her involved in what is going on and to help her understand better what is happening in our lives. It is also disappointing to discover that they do not offer any prenatal classes for families, to prepare children for siblings. We have gotten her some baby dolls and some accessories to help her care for her babies in order to try to prepare her for what is coming. As it gets closer, I will borrow some books from the library to hopefully help with the transition as well.
As for myself, I am also having some of my own issues. After having a c-section with Lily I am concerned that I will end up having another c-section this time around. I have figured out my “plan.” Which is not so much a plan as it is a list of things I learned from the first go around. For instance, I learned that there are no circumstances that would convince me to ever allow them to stick an epidural in my back again, that was by far the worst experience from Lily’s birth and I refuse to go through it again. I also learned that although, yes, the child will come when it is ready, it may be TOO late for me, so I will not allow my pregnancy to drag on quite as long as I did the last time. Most importantly, though, I learned that I will have to go with the flow and take whatever is thrown at me, whether it be a c-section, a monitor screwed into the top of my baby’s head or whatever, I have to take it and try not to let my hormones get the best of me. I am looking so forward to welcoming this new life into our family, I hope that it will enter the world a little more smoothly than the first, but that it will be an equal joy!