Month: March 2012

Right now, Lily is laying in my arm, sleeping on my shoulder while I type with one hand.  It is these moments I love the best about my new life as a Mom.  Lately I have been having a hard time getting her to sleep through the day when we are at home.  She will fall asleep in the car and stroller quite quickly with very little argument, but when we are at home she will scream at me for hours trying to convince me that she is truly not tired.  Today however, she had a short nap on my in the morning, then a 2 hour nap in her bassinet and now she is sleeping on me again.  I’d like to get to a point where she has regular naps in her crib so that I will be free to do what needs to get done around the house without worrying about being too far away from her while she sleeps.  When she is in her bassinet I feel like I need to stay upstairs as much as possible so I will hear her when she wakes up, and if she falls asleep in her swing I feel like I need to stay downstairs in case she wakes up.  Maybe I’m being a little irrational about it because she’s my first, but I want to be right there when she wakes up.

I’m very excited for her first Easter!  At first I wasn’t sure that the Easter Bunny would come to her this year because she is too little to know the difference.  But, we decided that the Easter Bunny should come anyway, and I’ve gone slightly overboard with it.  But, I have decorated a basket for her to use every Easter, and there are lots of fillin’s for it.  I wasn’t really sure what I could get to fill her basket at first, she can’t eat anything solid – let alone junk food, and she isn’t really into toys yet, she hasn’t quite mastered reaching out and grabbing things yet, so I decided that it should be filled with practical things like diapers, wipes, formula and bottles, but in the end it’s about a half and half split, she’s getting some new soothers (all one piece to avoid the choking hazard), some new bottles for when she can’t use the little bottles anymore, a bunch of clothes, some headbands, a couple books and a couple toys as well as a Bumbo which will not fit in her basket.  I thought I was done, but then I remembered that I had planned to put some formula in there, too, so I guess I am ALMOST done preparing for Easter.  I am hoping to take her to see the Easter Bunny at the mall for a picture this week, it is her very first Easter after all.

It has been a while since my last post.  It gets very busy with a little baby all day long.  When I started this blog I figured I would have some time while she napped to do a little write up everyday.  Unfortunately, I’m finding she rarely naps long enough for me to load or unload the dishwasher let alone write a blog post.  Last night we had a rough night, the house was very cold and we were all too tired to realise that the cold was waking her up in her bassinet.  We have gotten quite used to her going into her bassinet in one or maybe two tries and sleeping through the night.  Last night I tried to put her in her bassinet about six times with no luck before we realised that it was the temperature in the room that was the problem, poor girl.

Since my last post, we have taken Lily swimming for the first time, got family photos done, I have taken her to the beach and for a walk with the dog at Shubie Park.  It’s very nice to have my independence back, I like being able to put her in her car seat and head out if I want to.  I am looking forward to having some play dates in the near future, I have quite a few friends on facebook with young infants that we can get together with, it is important to me that she grows up with other children her age.  Hopefully, she will make some lifelong friends right away, I know not really right away because right now she does not have the social ability to make friends, but I do hope that we will continue to have play dates with some of these people so that she will have some best friends.

Swimming.  I was very nervous taking her swimming for the first time.  Especially after having my friends on facebook warn me that she is not supposed to go into a pool until she is three months old.  I did do some research on the internet and found that it should be okay, but I was still a little weary, especially since she still hasn’t had her vaccinations yet.  When we got there she seemed to enjoy it so much that it made me feel a little silly for being so nervous about it.  I did watch her for a couple days after to make sure she didn’t catch anything while we were there.  We have since gone back to the pool.  I was much less concerned about it the second time.  There were much fewer people there the second time as well, so I think she found it more enjoyable, too.  She was smiling with us and chatting a little, too.  She even managed to stay in the pool for close to an hour before she started getting fussy.  I am very happy that she seems to enjoy the pool so much, I want her to love swimming as much as I always did growing up.

Family pictures.  We went to Sears for our pictures because I had found a pretty good coupon on their website.  I made an appointment for 3pm in hopes that she would have woken up from a nap around 2pm and had a bottle and diaper change to be ready for pictures.  However, the photographer at Sears was new to Sears and it was her first day in the studio alone.  Needless to say, she was running behind schedule.  We didn’t get in until after 4pm.  Lily was a trooper though.  She stayed awake for all the pictures and her fussiness was minimal.  We got some really nice pictures, I had hoped for some more original shots of her, but she is beautiful in all the pictures anyway.

The beach and Shubie Park.  Before Lily, we would take Sasha (the dog) to the beach or the park and let her go without a leash.  Neither one of us really likes to have her on a leash because she tends to choke herself and it’s really hard to watch.  With Lily, I don’t feel comfortable taking Sasha off the leash because I can’t take off in any direction to go after her when she sees another dog, I have to stay with the baby.  Sasha doesn’t really understand, so her time at the beach and in the park was not as much fun as she would have liked.  I felt like I had accomplished something by being able to get myself together to get the dog and the baby to the park and the beach and get us all home safely afterward.

On the weekend I finally broke down and put Lily in size 3 clothes.  She has been big enough for a couple of weeks, I think, but I was in denial that she was so big.  They fit her perfectly, so I decided yesterday that I should go through her clothes and get rid of anything that is too small or that I know I wont wear on her.  I put tons of onesies in the bag, I think she has only worn a handful of onesies, she is always in sleepers, there is no need for onesies.  And I found a lot of sleepers that she had never worn as well.  I found that I liked a few sleepers on her a lot so I just kept putting the same clothes on her over and over again.  So then, I went through the 3-6 month clothes that she has, again, lots of sleepers, which is mostly what she wears, but now I have the option of putting her in pants and shirts and dresses, too.  So, I now have a need for the onesies, but I had maybe 5 pairs of pants (that didn’t already have a onesie with them) and three stacks of onesies, so I kept 2 onesies for each pair of pants and then I kept another stack of onesies for just in case.  I put probably 20 size 3-6 month onesies away.  Everyone kept telling me when I was pregnant, ‘Oh, you can never have too many onesies.’  I disagree, I can’t put her in just a onesie, it’s too cold outside, and even if it wasn’t too cold, I still wouldn’t put her in just a onesie, so without something to wear it with, onesies are redundant.  And, that is my clothing rant for the day.

Yesterday Lily was 1 month old.  It is absolutely amazing to me how fast the time has gone.  The memories of disappointment, fear and feelings of inadequacy at the hospital have faded into the background and been replaced with excitement, anticipation and love as I look forward to what is to come.  We went to the doctor in the morning yesterday, she has gained 1 pound and 4 ounces since she was born and has only grown 3/4 of an inch.  In the past month, Lily has been shopping, to restaurants, for a walk in the park, and to visit the babies at my work.  She has been visited by family and friends and surrounded by love.  She has gone from sleeping most of the day in 2 hour chunks waking up for food and diaper changes to staying awake for most of the morning with a cat nap or two, having a long mid-day nap, staying awake for most of the afternoon and evening, having another long nap in the evening, waking up for a bottle and diaper change and then sleeping for 6 hours.  She recognizes the sound of her bottle being mixed, it actually helps to calm her down before she is fed; she knows her change table and becomes more calm as we climb the stairs because she knows that she will be more comfortable soon.  It is amazing how much she has grown and how much she has already learned.

Yesterday she napped in her crib for the first time.  It was very exciting for me to be able to put her in her crib and use the new monitor that I was so excited about when it was purchased.  At the same time, however, it felt a little scary to leave her in a room and rely on such a small piece of technology to let me know when she was awake.  To top of that scary feeling, the sound on my wonderful new monitor was cutting in and out, so I was not always able to hear the sounds in her room.  Because of this problem, I found myself sitting and watching her sleep, wondering if she was actually awake and fussing but I could not hear her.  I would run upstairs periodically through her nap just to check if she was still asleep.  In the end, the monitor did have sound when she was waking and proved quite useful while she was asleep.  It has a little light that flashes each time she moves, so I was able to see how she was breathing while she was sleeping and I was also able to see her moving each time she would fuss.  I’m not sure how comfortable I will be with this monitor when I am relying on it to wake me in the night when she wakes up.

I am slowly getting used to the idea of being home all day with a new baby.  It is really helpful that she is now staying awake for longer periods and then having longer naps.  It is also helpful that in the morning, after sleeping for about 6 straight hours, she wakes up full of smiles.  I think she has gotten used to her morning routine, we are still working on the rest of the day, but for 2, maybe 3 hours in the morning, she is quite content.

I find myself looking at her from time to time with disbelief that I actually gave birth to her.  For most of my pregnancy I kept expecting someone, probably my doctor, to sit me down and tell me that I wasn’t really pregnant, that I was in fact just getting fat.  Now that my stomach is starting to heal, the memories of giving birth to her are starting to fade and feel less real.  If I really think hard about it I can remember it quite vividly, but when I look at her, it’s sometimes like she can’t possibly be mine, like her real mom or dad will be here to pick her up soon.  Then I realize that’s me and Scott, and we’re already here.  It’s really a very strange feeling.